Je Joue

Late summer is here, arriving like a sadly sweet song on the radio. I hold onto every honeydew moment in the sun, trying to shed my worries as much as possible and soak up these remaining summer days. July has been our absolute busiest month yet, and I realize I’ve been working more than I’ve been enjoying my favorite season. So I’m vowing right now to take more deep breaths, laugh more, get outside, spoil myself with time to do nothing (without looking at a screen… which is tough!), dance to my favorite songs, sing with my lover, eat healthier every day, chase new experiences, make new friends, and pick all the wildflowers that make my heart content.

In this day and age, I see so many of us focused on materialism, and filled with judgement, jealousy, or misunderstanding towards each other. We want what someone else has because we think- “if I just have what they have, my life will be so much better.” But what we don’t realize is that 1. nobody’s life is as perfect as it seems on the outside, so be careful what you wish for. And 2. when you focus so much on what others have or what you don’t have, you are wasting your own life away. Similarly to when you work a mediocre job that you hate, and you’re just working for someone else’s dream instead of your own… this is even worse: You are working against yourself, taking away energy and time that you could invest into making your life what you want it to be, and throwing that energy into negative thoughts. These thoughts grow like weeds inside you, if you let them. And then later on, you’ll have some major gardening to do to make up for it all.

Jealous of people on Instagram? Shut off your damn cell phone. Want your life to be better? Stop making excuses for why you can’t do something, or why now isn’t the right time. Baby, the things you want aren’t going to come to you, you have to go after them. And the right time is never…. so it might as well be now.

A successful business speaker once said to try this exercise: Ask yourself what you want. Then ask yourself what you want to change- whether about your life or yourself. Now take an honest look at yourself in the mirror, as if you were a stranger looking at you from the outside. Think on all those things you want and want to change… Now ask yourself if that person in the mirror really deserves it.

Your answer could be kinda painful, if you’re truly honest with yourself.

But… that is actually the most important part of the exercise, because then you have to decide that you WANT to deserve the things you want. Because wanting things isn’t enough, you have to put in the hard work and effort for these dreams to turn into reality. And maybe you’re not that person who deserves those things yet. Or maybe your mindset is all wrong. Whether it’s changing your physical appearance, having the job you covet, or living in that place you find most beautiful. If all you do is spend your time being jealous of what someone else has, never investing your time into making necessary changes, do you really think you deserve it? If you are waiting for the “right time”, do you really think the right time will walk in the door and find you?

We can do nothing for ourselves except become bitter, or we can strip out all those entitled feelings and get to work making our dreams a reality. It’s quite simple when you think about it like that.

And if you want to go a step further, you can look at it like this- If you don’t put anything out there into the universe, or only your bitterness, jealousy, or defeat, do you really think Karma is going to shower you with everything you ever dreamed of? Is feeling defeated the same as being deserving? NO! Is feeling deserving the same as BEING deserving? Sadly, no.

When Josh and I took some time to think over this exercise ourselves, I learned so much from it. We realized what we really wanted, and what we WANTED to change to go after the next big venture we dreamed of. The important thing is to not make it a personal attack on yourself, but to be as honest as possible and accept the challenge that comes with your realizations. When you chose to ignore what everyone else is doing and focus on improving yourself, for yourself, you find a sort of peace. Because you aren’t bitter anymore.

That is the purpose of the whole exercise, and that is the difference between those who dream, and those who do.

“Peaceful is the one who is not concerned with having more or less.” — Rumi

I didn’t intend to write such a long and deep post, so thank you if you read it the whole way through! I hope it can inspire you as much as I am motivated by it.

Head to the bottom of this post for outfit details!

Dress: Petite Studio NYC | Basket Purse: Urban Outfitters | Necklace: Five & Two