“The empowered woman doesn’t wonder how she will fit in to society,
or if she will be accepted.
She stands apart, and she stands out.
She seeks after her heart’s desires,
knowing only there will she find a true life.” (-me)
I’m going to be honest with you, and share what I’ve learned recently.
I never fit in as a kid. My differences from all the other kids, even my friends, I attribute to being the artist that I am. I’ve mentioned before that I’m not only an Aquarius, but also an INFJ personality. If you have read up on the personality types, you’ll know that I’m quite an odd ball, being one of the rare less than 1% of the population. I saw everything differently than everyone else, whether it was peers or adults. And I still do. A lot of people aren’t familiar with my way of thinking, with what makes me me. So when they don’t know how to accept it, they decide it must be wrong.
Most of the world has decided what is right and wrong, how you should fit in, and where. They tell you what is considered failure, and they tell you what is success. They give you an illusion of happiness that you believe is the only option, and the only goal. But even more specific, they tell us how we should be to be accepted.
As someone who’s always danced on the outside, never quite understanding these limits put on us, I always chose freedom over this mental and spiritual enslavement. It was (and still is) in my nature to shy away from anyone who tries to change me, or tell me to do something that goes against my very strong inner compass. I don’t find any value in that kind outlook on life- forcing people into boxes. I was pressured into feeling accepted while growing up. It’s normal, I guess, we all experience it.
But the most important thing is to free yourself of that pressure. Whether you did that as a kid, or you’re in the process of doing so now, learning to be your own human is the first step to being free. And complete freedom……… is happiness.
Doing what others want you to do never fulfills. Trying to be accepted by everyone is impossible, and a waste of time. Worrying about failure is holding you back and keeping you in one place. You will never swim if you’re afraid of the cold water. You just have to jump in, and keep swimming.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life IS failure. It is part of the ebb and flow of things. You have to get past those difficult times to move on to where you want to be. You have to take a step daily, consistently. If you’re afraid of failure, you’re afraid to live. And then you won’t be moving in any direction at all.
“Be brave, be a seeker.
Go out and do something new that you’ve never done before.
Don’t drown in a daily routine. Change your outlook, change your life.
Don’t settle for comfortable, don’t be stagnant.
Be an explorer, be a pioneer.” (-me)
And here’s a little secret…. if you fail, it’s not over. It’s not the end. It’s just another thing that you do, and you learn how to survive that, and you move on. I wouldn’t even call it failing, because it’s just learning! Don’t let society scare you into never going after a fulfilling life because of fear. You have to accept it, even embrace it. You’ll have nothing to be afraid of once you experience it and live through it.
I ALWAYS say our passions are our calling. Why else would we have them? They are not a waste of time, and they are not a distraction. They are you, and when you are not submerged in them, you are not being yourself. Don’t be someone else to be socially accepted! Or for the false idea that it’s the only way you can live comfortably. I have shoved off all those things that are supposed to make me feel safe and comfortable- a house, a fancy car, a hometown, a “real job”, all “stuff”…… and I feel like I shed a huge weight that was holding me down. I’ve gotten rid of the worry and limitation that comes with those “safety” nets, and I’ve become weightless, giving me so much more ability to live freely. Which is what makes me happy.
And you know what? I can get depressed and stressed and worried, too. And that usually happens when I start to listen to the voices again, telling me that I need something. The unknown turns into something scary, because fear is contagious. You listen to others talk about their fears, and suddenly you aren’t confident anymore. Doubt fill you and you can’t even make a move in any direction, more or less forward.
We are human, and we are made to be survivors. What you may think is tough survival is actually just LIVING. It’s not meant to be easy and comfortable all the time. To expect that is to live inside a box, under the illusion of some unachievable life. This “american dream” requires you to have a bunch of “stuff” to have “arrived” at this perfect life. But all the stuff, all the safety nets, all the things that we go into debt for…. those are all shackles. I’m sure we all know this deep down. But when you’re part of society every day, submerged in the chaos of life and what is required of you to be accepted, your own voice gets drowned out by the voices of everyone else. Everyone’s fears, everyone’s stresses, everyone’s collective disillusion.
This is where you have to STOP.
We aren’t a heard of cows. We are humans. Beautiful, intelligent, unique, and endlessly capable humans. We all have gifts of passion that help us fit perfectly where we are supposed to be. Imagine if everyone did what they loved, what they were truly passionate about. Forget about celebrity, forget about fame, forget about fortune. Think about if the world was a cohesive place where everyone fit in because we were happy and in love with what we did every day….. can you even imagine such a place?
You don’t have to accept that this type of world will never exist, and give up on your dreams. You can take the less travelled road. All the pioneers and explorers did, and they paved the way for a new world. Creatives should do everything they can to chase their passions, and show the world that there is something more. Affect as many people as you can. Inspire everyone with your courage, your freedom, and your happiness. It sounds like a big undertaking, but it’s really not. All you have to do is take the time to move towards your dreams each day. You make the transition, learn where you want to be and what you want to do. And soon you’ll find yourself doing just that.
…I did it.
Prairie Lace Dress: Spell Designs
Boots: Free People
Ring: Ace of Swords
— Film —