In the days where the breeze still chills the air, but the sun grows gradually warmer and heats the earth, I find myself feeling more and more free. Each day I’m waking up more inspired, with a desire to wander aimlessly and explore new places. I feel a bit lazy, yet motivated. Nostalgic, but inspired by new things. It’s the affect that the dawn of summer has on me, and I feel slightly reborn every time it comes around. I’m braver, returning to this same season from the year before, and the year before that, and so on. Only this time I’m older and chasing new passions. Or sometimes the same passions in new ways. I know what I want even better this time. So I feel the glistening hope of a new summer to further develop who I want to be.
Being an artist and Aquarius, I exist on a constant timeline of improving myself. Whether as an artist (and its many forms), spiritually, intelligently, or with my physical body and health. I’m always moving forward and chasing whatever is first on my heart. When summer rolls around, I feel it as a time to review who I am and improve on it, especially my work and art. I’m so wrapped up fully into what I do that it really is me. And sometimes when I’m in these transitional periods where I’m developing a new style or changing my workflow, I get anxious. I’m completely energized by my inspiration and wanting fulfill it, but I am what I am creating, so as the transition in my work takes time, I feel like an incomplete person. Eager to figure out who I am going to be and what it is that I want. I know what I want, but my entire self is wrapped up in making it reality. In making this new season of myself, and my new desires, take flight.
The seasons in California are much less noticeable. There’s no division between them, as we sort of just pass from one to the next without much noticeable difference. It’s my first full year in a warm climate, so I find myself looking harder for signs of the new season. Flowers growing from the cracks of the canyon walls, cactuses blooming in pink and yellow, birds waking me up with their sweet song in the morning, and the scent of the air as it cools in the evenings. The new season has me searching for those little signs, and so I feel myself being more fine-tuned with nature and myself, leading me down this path of self re-discovery and awareness.
I finally picked up paints and supplies the other day. I’ve been trying to force myself to have time for other creative outlets, which is hard to do with my work lifestyle. I have a major background in art of all kinds, being raised by an abstract painter, professor, and director for a father. I’ve been drawing since the age of 2, and taking photos since I could hold a camera (the first being an old polaroid camera). I was nurtured to explore my artistic desires, allowing me to develop my artistic eye. I was a ballet dancer from age 3 to 19, which many don’t know about me. I was on the verge of becoming a professional dancer in NY, but gave it up to have a life with room for more than one passion. And so my entire life has been dedicated to exploring creativity and expression. It is what I live for, and seek on a daily basis. I’m a high-functioning inspiration seeker (which I just made up the term), looking at the world around me as influencing my art and creativity. So every part of my day can be inspiring or draining for me, as it is all being munched on by my brain to take in and affect my art and work.
I find myself having to slow down, for my own work and for client work, as I’m constantly juggling the need to please myself and many other people and clients. With everything I handle on the daily for my job, it takes away from my ability to truly create fully inspired work. So I always feel 50% incomplete, waiting for that time I can fully emerge myself into my creative workflow (sans the business woes)and develop that artist that I only get to be when I have free time.
Summer promises things that I find I have to chose to go after, otherwise the days slip away and another year goes by. So, I guess what I’m saying is, here’s the dawn of a new summer that I’m looking forward to. With days I’ll be exploring my creativity and the next season of myself. I’m excited for what’s to come!
PS- this is an unreleased shoot from last summer… even though it feels like we shot it just yesterday!